it’s compliKATEd

walking home from work last night, i noticed a homemade bumper sticker on a truck parked next to the world trade center construction site:

now this franco-phobic truck driver was so impassioned  about the country (i assume) of france, that s/he felt it necessary to emblazon their bumper with a death threat, just in case the country of france was ever sitting behind them in traffic on the brooklyn/queens expressway.

 bumper stickers as a form of expression always seemed like a self-important declaration– as if we even cared  that your kid was an honor student or that you brake for fetuses.

but making  your own bumper sticker really takes it to a whole new level, because whatever it is you want to say is so unhinged they don’t even print it on bumper stickers. 

my friend max has a funny joke about this that he does in his stand-up routine, where he describes being behind someone who has covered the entire rear of the car with bumper stickers that when read left to right clearly document her decent into insanity.  they start out with “jesus saves” and slowly progress to “god hates fags,” and then finally a hand- made sign hung in the rear window that says, “homosexuals need not apply” scrawled in angry red letters.

then max always says, “oh good lady, i’m glad you put that there.  otherwise i was going to roll up my resume and stuff it in your tailpipe.”

 max is funnier than me.