my tooths hurt
-or-
gold digger

Posted on Thursday, January 31st, 2008 | No Comments

my new goal in life, or at least my goal of the last 32 hours, is to create an educational satricial hip hop character named keynes west, and have him rap about sub-prime mortgage rates and the precious metals market. 
unsurprisingly, this is an idea i had the other day while listening to kanye west’s gold-digger while […]

time flies like an arrow
-or-
fruit flies like a banana

Posted on Sunday, January 27th, 2008 | No Comments

i don’t know if you would call my relationship with X a healthy one. it had started with almost constant togetherness, a cloying trend that only amplified as my difficulty adjusting to real-life grew in proportion to my distance from college.
you might say i loved him.  i would have said i loved him.  […]

why i hate art history majors
-or
maybe be your baby tonight?

Posted on Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008 | No Comments

i was supposed to blog today about why i vote pro-choice, in honor of the 35th anniversary of roe v. wade.  regrettably, work was very busy.  un-regrettably, my face was also busy watching the wire once i got home, so i haven’t had a chance.  sisters, my apologies.
so here’s my short list of why i’m […]

ben fishman is famous
-or-
do you believe in miracles?

Posted on Wednesday, January 9th, 2008 | No Comments

i hooked my buddy ben up with my super-politico-ex-boyfriend will bittinger (currently a field organizer for barack obama in new hampshire) so that he could help canvas heading into the primary today. they chatted via e-mail, ben decided to head up to new hampshire, and then just 48 hours later he was on national tv.

he’s […]

if you set the bar low you can always reach it
-or-
trip over it

Posted on Monday, January 7th, 2008 | No Comments

i know we’re already an entire 7 days into the new year, but i thought i’d share with everyone my new year’s resolutions.  like most americans, i have a difficult time keeping this little list of to-dos, so i’m trying to set my standards a little lower this time around.   
1. make my new year’s resolutions […]

is the cat for sale?
-or-
i hate people

Posted on Thursday, January 3rd, 2008 | No Comments

dear cute hipster couple in the grocery store line:
this must be your first trip to the grocery store together. that’s so great for you. i see that you are nuzzling/bumping/googly-eyeing each other while i wait in line with my armful of cottage cheese (1%), ground chicken (they were out of turkey), sour cream […]