tag is the new dodgeball
-or-
this one goes out to the one i love

Posted on Thursday, August 30th, 2007 | 1 Comment

i’m wondering whether stupid things like this are a new downward trend in american sanity, or if we’ve always been this stupid and we just didn’t know it before there was 24-hour news.
i think the next thing schools should try banning, now that they’ve gotten rid of to kill a mockingbird, slap bracelets, kissing, dodgeball […]

isex fruit!
-or-
hobos are the new unicorns

Posted on Wednesday, August 29th, 2007 | 1 Comment

i, for one, totally heart hipsters. particularly when they participate in sporting events of any kind.
which is why i’m obsessed with this video:

in other news, i mildly electrocuted myself while plugging in my hair dryer this morning. it’s amazing that i’ve made it to 23.

smoking blueberry sky
-or-
when you’re a jet you’re a jet all the way

Posted on Monday, August 27th, 2007 | No Comments

so it seems that the evil empire has finally revealed its true colors. there was a huge hullabaloo yesterday when yankees’ hats, featuring the colors and insignia of local gangs, were put on sale in harlem. i don’t know what marketing genius schemed this one up, but i’m betting his name starts with a […]

he’s, like, totally over ikea
-or-
so this is what breathing feels like

Posted on Thursday, August 23rd, 2007 | 1 Comment

The subway doors open, a hobo enters, holding
a bottle of windex in one hand and a tube of toothpaste in the other.
He says: “Which is the best time to read Dostoevsky? Winter?”
He sprays the windex.
“Or Spring?”
He squeezes toothpaste out of the tube.
Japanese girl: “Spring!”
Hobo: “You are correct.”
-F Train
_____________________

yes, i’m blogging again. this is […]

Normal Isn’t Creepy

Posted on Wednesday, August 15th, 2007 | 2 Comments

On Esquire.com . . .
Warren Ellis’s new novel, Crooked Little Vein, makes fetishes cool again.
Reading Crooked Little Vein (William Morrow; $22), the first prose novel by renowned graphic novelist Warren Ellis, is like being hit by a truck — a dark, perverted truck, that, if it’s anything like the one described in the book, is […]

What It Tastes Like

Posted on Thursday, August 2nd, 2007 | No Comments

In the August Issue of Esquire. . .
We ate black pudding, durian fruit, snake wine, abalone, and Joel Robuchon’s kobe beef so you don’t have to.

What It Smells Like

Posted on Wednesday, August 1st, 2007 | No Comments

In the August Issue of Esquire. . .
Open the vents. You’re in for a noseful.